I'll admit to it

Okay so last entry I was talking about my close call with seeing the accident just right in front of me. Thankfully I don't have any other close calls to write about. Once was quite enough for me. So yeah apparently Tim is moving back to Ohio. Not that I've heard this from him. I've heard it all from other people. We really haven't spoken to each other in months. I'm kind of torn on how I feel about where things are between me and him now. Can our friendship ever be fixed? I don't really know. It may be one of those things that just needs time. But sometimes when things have happened and caused pain between 2 people can things ever really be the same again?? I'm trying not to push it or stress myself over it because there are other issues that I have to deal with.

I've avoided mentioning this before in here partially because...well I'm a bit ashamed of it. Not that I should be. It's something a lot of people deal with and have problems with. It doesn't make them less of a person or weak or anything like that. In fact for about 7 years or so I hid it from pretty much almost everyone with the exception of Josh. I always figured as usual I could deal with it on my own and fix it. To some extent I did but that last little bit is what I need help with. So recently I went to a doctor about it and now I'm getting some help with my depression. It used to be really bad, but now it's just a small issue that I want to be rid of. So I finally stepped up to get some outside help with it and I feel better for having done that. It's going to be another piece in my life that is going to put me where I want to be. See another reason I never told anyone was because I didn't want people to worry about me. I didn't want to have to worry that any little time I got down people would be like..."OMG are you okay? Do you need to talk? Is everything okay?" and pestering me when really I just need to be left alone till it passes. I think once I get that last bit of fog/haze from the depression cleared up I'll also have a better view of my life and what I want to do with it in terms of school and everything else.

I'm trying to think and I think I still need to post pictures of all my tattoos in here. Not sure I have done that yet. Plus I've got my newest one to add to the mix. It's between my shoulders below my neck. It's a Tribal design with my initials in the middle in Elvin/Elvish just because it'd be something different and cool looking. If I remember tomorrow I'll post pictures since tonight I'll be out at the bar with some friends of mine and won't get home till late. Good times. So yeah things are going pretty good. Work is okay. Softball is good and everything else isn't too bad. Until next time...