Tired..sleepy...exhausted....

**looks at the title** Yep that describes me pretty well today. The 2nd session went well. Kind of mostly was about trying not to put pressure on myself with the way I think and not to bring myself further down with my thinking. It really made sense the stuff she said because I totally do that. It's kind of like if you get depressed it's not a good thing to beat yourself up over it and think I should not be feeling this way or I'm always going to feel this like because it just brings you further down. Whereas if you stop and think okay yes I'm feeling this way but I'm going to get over this and feel better it'll actually help to make you feel a little better. Now I just need to start working on that a bit more. It also applies to other situations like if someone doesn't talk to you and you might first think they might be mad at you or are being rude. Instead you kind of get yourself to think well maybe they are having a bad day or maybe I'll talk to them later to make sure nothing is wrong between us.

Isn't it always fun to do something when there's a risk of getting caught involved in it? I mean like that risk of being caught just adds some excitement to it. And yeah I can't expand more on that...just take my word for it or don't. =o)

Yeah I'm still trying to enjoy being single. At times I enjoy it and other times I just hate it. It really sucks for those times when you find some guy that is really cool and you get along with and there seems like there could be something there, but there's something that makes it almost impossible to even give it a shot. Those are the situations that suck the most. They just frustrate you and almost drive you insane to an extent. You almost wonder why the hell life is basically f*cking with you by bringing this person into your life but at the same time saying..."no, no, no you can't have this person". Regardless I'm just tired of the single life really and the games that come with trying to find someone to be a part of your life. Really what doesn't help at all one bit is how guys think girls are bitches and do nothing but play mind games...so then the guys in turn act like assholes and play games. Then that causes girls to think guys are nothing but playas who play games and it keeps adding to the amount of people who actually do that stupid crap. There used to be a time when the amount of girls who were bitches and guys who were assholes was slim...but so many people hyped it up and felt the need to conform that it's starting to become more and more. Ugh! Wake up people and just be yourself...quit with the whole well someone else is this way so I'm going to be that way too even though deep down I'm not like that. Be a man or a woman and be yourself and don't give a damn if you're too nice or anything like that. It's a good thing to be like that...not a bad thing.

Okay so I'll end that rant for now. Especially since my ass should get back to actually doing some work. I hate being so quick at my job because then it makes it hard for me to stay focused and want to do more work. The old double edge sword...the more you do the more you are rewarded (or that's the way it's supposed to be)...but the more you do the more they expect you to do. Can't win for losing really.