Almost another year older....

That countdown is quickly winding down on me. I can't even say it's a week away anymore and 6 days to go is almost over with. And now I'm distracted by that buzz of my text message going off. But yes in roughly 6 days or so I'll be yet another year older. Am I happy about that? A little bit. Am I bummed out about that? A little bit. I'm kind of in the middle on it. While my life isn't by any means where I want to it to be...there are a lot of things in my life that I can be proud of. Most of those things missing I don't mind. The one that always gets to me is that one fact that another year is gone from my life and I had no one special to spend it with. That one person that's supposed to complete my soul wasn't a part of that year. Yet I try not to let it get to me. I try to just enjoy being around my friends and celebrating my birthday. Even if this year I'm not totally sure on what all I am doing for it. I know the actual day of my birthday I'll hit the BW3 near my work for a few drinks and just to kind of relax a bit and enjoy my birthday. Then the Saturday after my birthday will be spent dancing, singing, drinking and acting like a fool at Combinations. This weekend I'm not 100% set on yet. I might hit Backstreet in Mentor on Saturday to see a bar and Friday I might hit my normal BW3 but I'm still thinking that all over so far.

Plus the Thursday after my birthday I get to see Disturbed in concert which should be pretty kick ass. And right now I am completely lacking the energy to really write anything. My eyes keep wanting to close and stay closed. I've got so much to do before this weekend and no time to do it. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be going out almost right after work so I'm kind of screwed on time. I pick up a friend somewhat early Friday when he comes into town for my birthday. He was doing a cross country trip with visiting people and I'm one of the stops on his way back home. Should be cool since this is the 2nd year in a row he's been here for my birthday. Although last year was slightly insane and drama filled and just all around insane. We won't really get into some of that...at least not right now because I'm too tired to relive all of that. Plus some of those happy memories from them are overshadowed by things that later went on and kind of tainted the memories. It sucks but it happens in life. Let's just say one night was spent with a guy I was involved with in some aspect and later tainted by the fact that I was just kind of a warm-up for him before he went out of town to screw someone else. I had a blast around my friends the one night but weeks later I was chewed out for apparently not being appreciative enough and for not spending enough time with all my friends...even though I bounced from friends to friends because different groups of friends had come up to see me. That night was also fun when I stood outside in the freezing cold on a phone with a friend as I was basically guilt tripped about possibly hooking up and eventually did nothing because of it except for freeze. Now you kind of see what I meant by good memories that were later tainted. Hopefully this year won't be the same by any means. I really don't want to go through that again. I'd rather it be an okay birthday and no tainting later on then it being tainted down the road after being great. But oh well...I'm off to try and make it till it's a decent time for bed.