Hopeless romantic....
That I am to some extent. Yep I'm a hopeless romantic deep down to an extent. I mean don't get me wrong. I want a sweet guy who is going to do things that make me just go awww isn't he so sweet, but I don't want it all the time. I want those special times to really mean something and not be a run of the mill thing. I want a guy who has a wild bad side to him and at times is a smartass punk that makes me want to smack him but makes me love him even more because he'll be making me laugh with his smartass ways and challenging me to keep up with him. But at the same time I want that guy who at times is just going to sweep me off my feet by doing sweet things for me and making me remember that romance is still alive and strong. Those things that are going to make me love him even more especially when I think I can't possibly love him anymore then I already do. I want that in my life. I want that type of guy who will appreciate it and be in awe if I do something sweet and special for him. I want him to fall more in love with me for those things just like I would do when he did those things for me.
But I don't have those in my life. I've got the fun filled single life or that's what it's supposed to be. At times it is, but at times it's not. At times I hate it because I don't have that special someone in my life. I hate it because I'm stuck playing the guessing games and the mind games that come with trying to find someone to be with. Which sucks because at times my lack of self confidence and self esteem kicks in and I become the paranoid freak who fears things are taking a turn for the worst and that once again life is going to screw me over. In fact I'm currently battling that with one situation I'm in but I'm trying to remain a little positive, but who knows. Of course being single doesn't help how I feel. Add on the fact that every single person in my family found someone and was married by my age doesn't help either. And here I am single with not even a potential love in my life. It sucks. My heart aches for what I don't have and all I can do is try and not let that get to me. Try to be patient which is not easy. I know life was different back then but it blows me away to think that by the age of 26 my mother was married and pregnant with her 4th child (me) and chances are by that same age I'll still be single.
Yes I know when the time is right I'll find that special someone for my life. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself and keep believing. Hopefully one day it'll prove to be true. I'll just keep listening to love songs and watching love stories in movies and waiting for the day when those things make me think of that special man in my life. I just hope that day comes sooner rather then later because the wait is really starting to suck.
Soo anyway although I know only a few people read this...I figured I'd open the floor. Go ahead and ask me anything you want to know and I'll answer it. If you want me to write about something in particular let me know and I'll see what I can do. So have at it and have fun with it. Ask as many things as you want...there's no limit.
But I don't have those in my life. I've got the fun filled single life or that's what it's supposed to be. At times it is, but at times it's not. At times I hate it because I don't have that special someone in my life. I hate it because I'm stuck playing the guessing games and the mind games that come with trying to find someone to be with. Which sucks because at times my lack of self confidence and self esteem kicks in and I become the paranoid freak who fears things are taking a turn for the worst and that once again life is going to screw me over. In fact I'm currently battling that with one situation I'm in but I'm trying to remain a little positive, but who knows. Of course being single doesn't help how I feel. Add on the fact that every single person in my family found someone and was married by my age doesn't help either. And here I am single with not even a potential love in my life. It sucks. My heart aches for what I don't have and all I can do is try and not let that get to me. Try to be patient which is not easy. I know life was different back then but it blows me away to think that by the age of 26 my mother was married and pregnant with her 4th child (me) and chances are by that same age I'll still be single.
Yes I know when the time is right I'll find that special someone for my life. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself and keep believing. Hopefully one day it'll prove to be true. I'll just keep listening to love songs and watching love stories in movies and waiting for the day when those things make me think of that special man in my life. I just hope that day comes sooner rather then later because the wait is really starting to suck.
Soo anyway although I know only a few people read this...I figured I'd open the floor. Go ahead and ask me anything you want to know and I'll answer it. If you want me to write about something in particular let me know and I'll see what I can do. So have at it and have fun with it. Ask as many things as you want...there's no limit.
posted by Missy D at 10:41 AM
2 Comments:
Awww... there is a soft side to my Freak!!!
No, hun I know how you felt. I felt that way before... Things will get better I promise. Enjoy it now as once you really settle down, things change, A LOT!!
XXOO,
JTL!
amen to the weight sucking
i sublimate with cheesy chick fliks where love and romance triumph...
and then date utter assholes who wouldn't know how to shock me in a good way if it bit them in the ass
*thinks about it*
good god, why am i giving him a second chance?
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