Not a good mood

Today happens to be one of those days I hate. One of those days where I spend it trying to fight off the sadness that wants to overcome me. It's one of those days that life seems to slap you in the face and remind you that one of the main things you want...you don't have. It's a day that I'm just tired of the single life. I'm tired of getting into situations that seem like there is potential only to have the door slammed in my face as either it ends for one reason or another, even if that other reason is someone else getting what I want. It's just one of those days where I turn left and I'm reminded of friends in happy relationships. I turn right and it's the same thing looking back at me.

I'm just also bummed because I'm kind of seeing that my way of thinking about some things might be keeping me from more in life. I'm just frustrated. I'm tired of the games that leave you wondering. I'm tired of being unsure. I guess none of this helps after my night out last Friday. I was with a friend to put it one way. There were times he was a bit...well hell I don't know how to put it. Like I would be standing in front of him and he'd pull me back and wrap his arms around my waist. Those little things that usually come with a relationship. Those little casual touches that remind you in a way just how much you do care for that person. I want to be able to try and fix the issues in a relationship.

Ugh! I don't want to let myself wallow in this. I know that come tomorrow morning or sometime soon I'll be back to being okay with single life. These thoughts will have gotten pushed back further in my mind. But at the same time I've learned that I can't hold everything in. Sometimes I do need to just let them out so that it doesn't all build up inside of me till I can't take it anymore. I think sometime soon I'm going to take a me day. Just do something for myself whether it's go see a movie or go to the zoo. Just any little thing where I can enjoy life and who I am. I just have to get through now. And speaking of that I'm going to attempt to sleep and get onto tomorrow...hopefully a better day.