Birthday pics finally...

I promised to post some of the pictures from my birthday when all of us went to BW3 in Lyndhurst and here they are. I think all the pictures came out so awesome. Tim had the camera most of the night and he honestly did a great job of capturing the night. I know I took some pictures and Cris took at least one which I'll post in here. Beyond that I'm not sure who else took pictures. I know someone else must have because there was one pic of me and Cris and Tim is in the background of it. But anyway here they are for you to enjoy...well some of them. Later I might post some more of them but here's a few to get you started. Like I said it was just a really great night and I think everyone had a good time.

Here's me and the infamous tiara with 3 blinking lights on it. The ribbon/button just said happy birthday to me. Hey what can I say I was trying to pimp out my own brithday. Yes I was a bit buzzed by then since I was on I believe my 3rd or 4th Smirnoff and had done like I think 1 or 2 shots by then.

Me and Cris. I think this is such a cute pic. I remember we were talking and Cris grabbed the camera and decided we needed a pic. So he held the camera and took the picture of us. Came out pretty damn good if you ask me.

Heather, me, Lynz and Gracie. I was so glad Lynz was able to make it for a little bit. It was kind of like an added birthday present if you ask me.

Everyone shooting pool and hanging out. I think some people were actually involved in the "good game" ass smacking at this point.

My friend Jen and I plus my kick ass smiley face balloon that Cris got for me. Don't ask me what was up with the look on my face. Hell it was late in the night by this point and trust me...many shots and drinks had crossed my path by this point.

It's come and gone and I'm still alive and kicking....

Yes that wonderful day that makes me being another year older has come and gone and I'm still alive. Although I do think I am suffering some effects from it as yesterday I started coughing and today had to take some cough medicine. I know it's been a while since I've posted in here so let me see if I can try and recap what has gone on. The weekend of the 11th through 13th my one best friend Josh came into town for my birthday. It was kind of just a laid back deal. So the one night we hit the BW3 in Garfield Heights since that's kind of my normal bar and I just wanted to go there for the heck of it. Nothing overly exciting happened there. Saturday we ended up at Backstreet in Mentor to see the band Dave's Planet play. It was my first time seeing the band and they were really good. I enjoyed the entire time. Granted the drummer was entertaining enough. It's one of those you need to see the guy to truly understand. We ended up hanging out with Brian, Amanda and Sean for a little bit. I really enjoyed it and it's definitely a band I'll check out again.

LOL! Oops...I think I already wrote about that stuff and I'm too lazy to erase it and start over so ha deal with it! Onto this birthday week. Tuesday I went to BW3 in Lyndhurst with a bunch of friends. It was such an awesome time. No one wanted to let me buy my own drinks. But I was bad and did sneak a few. I swear I had about 11 or 12 Smirnoff Triple Blacks and 12 or 13 wet pussy shots from about 4:30 till like a bit after midnight. Yeah I was buzzing pretty good but I was happy with it. I busted out my blinking tiara crown to wear to draw more attention to myself. I had a few random people come up and start talking to me because of it. That was pretty cool. A lot of my older friends that I have known for years didn't show. That bummed me out a little bit everyone else coming out and wishing me Happy Birthday and hugging me and just showing they were glad to be there made up for it. A few people told me they unfortunately couldn't make it which is understandable. Eventually I'll have pictures to post from it. I have no clue what all was taken since for the most part Tim had the camera. It ended up that Jenn, Danielle, Heather, Gracie, Sully, Tim, Stewy, Lil Avi, Lynz, Sean, Cris, Jessica, Katie all showed up. Plus a few people had a friend with them so it was a pretty good turn out.

I'll tell ya what Cris is one of those rare guys. I was shooting pool with Danielle and all of a sudden I looked up and saw him coming into the bar. He was carrying this huge smiley face balloon and two roses. He had gotten me a white rose and a red rose for Gracie. Now how sweet is that? My balloon is still alive too and smiling and bouncing around my room. It was definitely an unexpected surprise for him to do that. But honestly it was probably one of the best birthdays with everyone who showed up and the cards I got from people and all the birthday wishes through emails and text messages and everything else.

Thursday I treated myself to the Disturbed concert. I ended up going with Mike, Greg, Nick and Lucy since we ran into Nick and Lucy at the House of Blues. It was an awesome night. Definitely loved the entire show with the Lizardman and just where we stood/sat to watch the show. It was an awesome birthday present to myself. =o) Then Friday I went down to Columbus with my dad and we hit Dave and Busters with my brother down there. That was a good time as well. And then Saturday some of us hit a bar in Parma to see this 80s coverband and it was a good night. I had a blast with everyone there and it was just cool to kind of sit around, BS and listen to some good music. It was kind of a good way to end the whole birthday partying and stuff. But once I get the pictures back I'll post some of the better ones. I can only imagine what some of the pictures are going to look like.

Happy birthday to me...

Yes I am another year older...26 to be exact. So far it has been a great birthday. I mean nothing really has happened yet besides hearing tons of people wish me Happy Birthday. A bunch of my friends are coming to the bar tonight to celebrate with me which is just awesome. I've had emails, text messages, phone calls, verbal wishes, and even wishes in the chat room. Lots of people seem excited for tonight and it's just going to be a good time. Normally I'm low key with my birthday and those who remember...remember. Beyond that I usually never advertise it but this year I decided to. I figured why the hell not. I mean usually it's like everyone finds out after my birthday and wants to get into all the birthday celebrating stuff like doing cards and balloons at work and what not. Which I did get a card this year and confetti was all over my desk. LOL Now it's sitting in a shot glass on my desk.

I was also shocked when a friend I really haven't talked to much sent me a message to wish me happy birthday. It's been cool to see everyone's different ways of saying it. Whether it's worded differently or with pictures or whatever it may be. I swear my one brother said happy birthday to me about 20 times in his voice mail. LOL It was funny. So far I'm still waiting to hear anything from my oldest brother. He always seems to forget my birthday but oh well. It's all good even with that. I'm having a good day and it's only going to get better. And yes I'll be taking lots of pictures tonight as all the fun goes on.

And oh before I forget...my wrist is sprained. The pinky is still bruised and sore and I'm wearing a splint now. Luckily nothing was broken and by this Sunday I should be okay to play.

Wounded and tired...

I don't know how long this will be since I think I may have broken or fractured something in my right hand so typing is beyond hell right now. Turning my hand different ways hurts through the wrist and the base of my hand like near the pinky area. I ended up taking a throw off my right hand (bare hand) and it mostly hit my pinky. The ball tailed on me thanks to the wind and now I'm suffering for it big time. Doing some things is so hard for me since I can't really use my right hand and I am right handed so you see the problems it brings about. It'll be interesting tonight when I try to sleep on my right side since I usually have my hand under my pillow. I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night and Friday night I slept like hell. Came home buzzed and woke up 2 hours after I went to sleep and had trouble falling back asleep...not good!

We had 3 softball games today because thankfully we pulled out 2 wins in the playoffs and get to play again next week. Lost the first game and won the last two but we had to fight big time for those wins. I'm kind of glad to play next week but at the same time not because I'll be hungover. Saturday night is Combinations to see this 80s coverband play and it's basically my birthday partying night so yeah I'll be drunk. Oh well I'll still play as hard as I can that day and give it my all and hopefully help us win and move on. I would write more but honestly my hand is bothering me. I finally got some Advil to kick in and kill some of the pain but not enough. And yes tomorrow I will be making an appointment to get it checked out to make sure I didn't break anything or do any real damage. I'm praying it's just sore and bruised. Because if it's anymore I'm not sure what I will do other then try to prevent them from casting it or anything like that until after softball is over. I know that's stupid but if you know me and my softball career...you'll know that's typical of me to play hurt. I've played before on a severely sprained ankle. I mean so badly sprained/swollen that for me to walk from bumper to bumper of say a car like a Cavalier...it would have taken me at least a minute because of how bad it was. But I still played on the ankle with a brace on and kicked butt too. I've also played with a pinky that I had overextended the tendon in it or whatever. So yeah hopefully tomorrow it'll feel better and I can recap my weekend...but we'll see.

Almost another year older....

That countdown is quickly winding down on me. I can't even say it's a week away anymore and 6 days to go is almost over with. And now I'm distracted by that buzz of my text message going off. But yes in roughly 6 days or so I'll be yet another year older. Am I happy about that? A little bit. Am I bummed out about that? A little bit. I'm kind of in the middle on it. While my life isn't by any means where I want to it to be...there are a lot of things in my life that I can be proud of. Most of those things missing I don't mind. The one that always gets to me is that one fact that another year is gone from my life and I had no one special to spend it with. That one person that's supposed to complete my soul wasn't a part of that year. Yet I try not to let it get to me. I try to just enjoy being around my friends and celebrating my birthday. Even if this year I'm not totally sure on what all I am doing for it. I know the actual day of my birthday I'll hit the BW3 near my work for a few drinks and just to kind of relax a bit and enjoy my birthday. Then the Saturday after my birthday will be spent dancing, singing, drinking and acting like a fool at Combinations. This weekend I'm not 100% set on yet. I might hit Backstreet in Mentor on Saturday to see a bar and Friday I might hit my normal BW3 but I'm still thinking that all over so far.

Plus the Thursday after my birthday I get to see Disturbed in concert which should be pretty kick ass. And right now I am completely lacking the energy to really write anything. My eyes keep wanting to close and stay closed. I've got so much to do before this weekend and no time to do it. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be going out almost right after work so I'm kind of screwed on time. I pick up a friend somewhat early Friday when he comes into town for my birthday. He was doing a cross country trip with visiting people and I'm one of the stops on his way back home. Should be cool since this is the 2nd year in a row he's been here for my birthday. Although last year was slightly insane and drama filled and just all around insane. We won't really get into some of that...at least not right now because I'm too tired to relive all of that. Plus some of those happy memories from them are overshadowed by things that later went on and kind of tainted the memories. It sucks but it happens in life. Let's just say one night was spent with a guy I was involved with in some aspect and later tainted by the fact that I was just kind of a warm-up for him before he went out of town to screw someone else. I had a blast around my friends the one night but weeks later I was chewed out for apparently not being appreciative enough and for not spending enough time with all my friends...even though I bounced from friends to friends because different groups of friends had come up to see me. That night was also fun when I stood outside in the freezing cold on a phone with a friend as I was basically guilt tripped about possibly hooking up and eventually did nothing because of it except for freeze. Now you kind of see what I meant by good memories that were later tainted. Hopefully this year won't be the same by any means. I really don't want to go through that again. I'd rather it be an okay birthday and no tainting later on then it being tainted down the road after being great. But oh well...I'm off to try and make it till it's a decent time for bed.

Damp field plus wind and rain plus lots of mud gets you...yeah well you'll see....

So foolishly this week I was thinking we'd be playing on a slightly dry softball field. What did I wake up to this morning? Rain! Another week of mud ball....um I mean fall softball. See with most fall ball leagues you play unless there is lightning. For part of the first game it was fine except for the wind. That was the only bad thing. Then suddenly I looked and it was like oh crap rain is coming as the sky darkened. It opened up and poured down for I don't even know how long. I was soaked and with the past few weeks of rain the field instantly turned to crap. Puddles here and there. Mud...well pretty much everywhere. Keeping the ball clean wasn't possible and due to all the rain and mud it got heavier as the games went on. The balls literally were soaking up the water. To make matters worse my pitcher had a decent amount of short pitches from the rain and mud on the ball and stuff with kept hitting puddles. Guess where I'm going with this? Did you guess that I was getting splattered with mud since I was the catcher? If so...guess what? You win! It got to a point that I gave up wiping off my face because within another pitch or two more mud splattered on my face. The ump and I both were just closing our eyes at times because we knew it was going to splatter and it was safer to close them.

The ump was pretty muddy by the time it was all said and done and I was just ten times worse then him. Plus earlier in the game I had gained some mud when I had a play at home. I was running home and I kind of went for a slide and to try and avoid a tag. Ended up kind of sliding head first. But that was nothing compared to what happened after the rain came. And trust me...most of the games was played on the mud. Don't believe me that it was completely horrible?? Well let me introduce you to my cleats and glove.....

Not too bad you say after seeing that? I mean sure you can see a few clean spots. How about a look at the inside of my glove. Which did I mention how the one time I was going to our dugout and only loosely had my glove on and it decided to fall off? Yeah it ended up falling straight into a puddle so it gained some water weight. Ugh!! LOL!!! So now let me show you a nice view of the inside of my glove and trust me...the other side was just as bad if not worse.

And I'm sure you're wondering if my gloves and cleats looked like that...then what the hell did I look like? Could I have been sparkly clean despite the glove and cleats looking like hell?? And let me just say that this next picture does NOT do justice. You don't get to see my completely dirty socks or the fact that there are bits of mud all over my face. Although near my left eye towards the bridge of my nose...that darker spot...ohh that's mud! My one ear had mud all over it. My neck had mud splattered on it. So yes...I blended in so well with the field. I had on my "mud camoflauge". And I almost forgot...two times when the mud splattered the end result was me having mud in my eye. One time I had to call time because I could not see and had to try and wipe my eye as well as waiting for my eye to water enough so that I could get the mud out of it. So that's another reason why I began to do the whole close the eyes deal when I knew it was a short pitch.

Bowl me over baby....

Bowling...yes that glorious sport that encourages you to drink WHILE taking part in the sport. Does it get much better? Nah, not really. Well unless you start the night off by going up to roll your first bowl...hit a stick spot and ending up on your hands and knees with your hands on the lane in that fun oil! Oh yes that was how I started off last night with bowling. I was like sweet this is a good sign for the night! *rolls eyes* Then on another lane I hit a slick spot and almost ended up on my ass. I know one time I was going for the 10 pin on a spare and hit a stick spot. Yeah felt so great with the way my knee twisted and stopped because of it. I swear I was a little too close to blowing out my knee on that one. It was a good night...at least to start off despite people showing up a little later and then not being sure of who was bowling and who wasn't. But I will say this...god the people working at the alley were IDIOTS! "I don't need I think...I need to know exactly how many" Um how about this...start asking who needs shoes and what size...then count then up and wow it's that simple.

We had 4 lanes and like 13 people bowling. Two lanes had 4 people and then one lane had 2 and one had 3. Now clue why it ended up like that. Next thing we know we're in the 2nd game and everyone has bowled the 3rd frame but like 2 of us and it shuts off. Um...WTF! I paid for 2 games and it's shutting off??? Apparently it was set up for only 10 games to be bowled on the 2 lanes and then the other games to be bowled on the other lanes. Then we were short money for 2 games as well. WTF??!! We were all PISSED to say the least. In the end some of us ended up paying $7 to bowl a game and 3 frames. I will never bowl there again (Freeway Lanes in Wickliffe in case you want to avoid it). Now here's the real fun thing...so on two lanes we had a total of 8 full games the first round and then if you add up the frames it was another 2 full games...so that's a total of 10. Now supposedly we had paid for 22 games altogether. Now once the other lane finished they ended up bowling a total of 10 games as well. Now we're short 2 games. Somehow someone didn't pay and someone else BSed about having a hook up for 2 free games when it was all said and done in my opinion. We got the money back for the last 2 unused games. Sucked big time.

After that we hit Linos in Wickliffe which was pretty cool. Not a bad little bar at all. Got to laugh my ass off when finally underage people got busted for being in a bar. Sorry kiddies but do your time. We all waited our time to be able to get into the bars...so wait it on out. If you don't want to do that...move to a country where there is no limit. But I had a pretty good time at the bar. Had a good crowd and plenty to do. Even if Brian did completely whip my ass in darts in a game of killer!! LOL!!

I just don't know. Right now I've got a lot of thoughts running through my head but it's all jumbled together so I can't even really make sense of it. And I should be slowly getting ready for a party tonight but the motivation is not there. I almost don't want to go. Between driving out there and having to put my costume back on just not there. But oh well I'll try to get the energy to do it...just don't think I'm going to stay late cause tomorrow is a long day. Oh well off to slowly start getting ready I go.

Not sure what to do....

I know blogs are public...at least on this site anyway. And it's true I hold back when writing in here and open up in another blog I have that no one knows about...but still. I still wanted to hold back on who all knew this blog was here...especially people that know me. There have been some things in here that I don't want the whole world to know...like my depression. And granted I have to take the blame for the most part on this since I never told people to keep this place a secret from others. I mean it's kind of one thing if someone tracks it down...but I guess I'm just kind of pissed because it was purposely given to someone. And it was given to that someone so they could write what I had written about them. Granted it wasn't really anything bad. I wasn't calling them some names or anything like that but...it was my thoughts and not something I wanted that person to know.

They didn't tell me who had showed them the link but the thing is...there's only like 4 people that know the link to this blog. And I know 2 people wouldn't have showed it. Supposedly the person who read it doesn't still have the link and only read that one entry...but I don't know. Now I just kind of feel like I'm unsure if I should still open up in here or if I need to censor what I say from now on and save it all for my private blog. I don't know. Maybe this is only bothering me right now because I'm overtired, a bit sick, stressed out and in general just on the verge of a bad mood. I'll sleep on it and think about it.

Smile you're on camera and wow you've been caught looking like a freak....

Yes I am posting my pictures the lazy way. Sorry but since I'm at work it's a bit quicker for me plus this way I can post all the pictures I took instead of doing the whole "well I like these ones the most so I'll only post these few" deal. Maybe later I'll get the energy and time to actually post the real pictures in here instead of just a link to where the album that I have them in. So anyway enjoy and feel free to leave comments. And since it's not the most obvious costume I'll say now that I was like an evil judge hence the robe and gavel. Although I did have people think I was a punk rocker, a wrestler, a dominatrix and even ICP...but no I wasn't any of those.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/md12.jpg <---This was actually pre hair color and make up. LOL

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-work.jpg <---Yes I went to work dressed like that.


http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-6a.jpg <---Full costume and kind of gives a better idea of what it all looked like.


http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-4a.jpg <---Another full costume, just a different pose and look on my face.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-1a.jpg <---Minus the robe which shows what I wore underneath. "Don't make me beat you with my gavel beotch!" LOL

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-2a.jpg <---Same as the above one just a different pose and look on my face. Trying to just show off completely the costume and all the fun that went with it.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-3a.jpg <----Aww look I'm actually smiling.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-8.jpg <---Close up shot so you can see the face paint better as well as the piercings I had. No, the lip and nose ring aren't real. And yes I actually had a few people wondering if the piercings were real.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d169/freaky31/Halloween/hallo05-5a.jpg <---By far my favorite pic of all of them. I just love the look on my face and the way I'm standing. Just look like a total bad ass as some people have said. Kind of scary looking too. Anyway enjoy and I'll post a few more once I get the film back. These were just from my pathetic digital camera.

Halloween's over =o(

Yep my favorite holiday has come and gone already. It's kind of hard to believe how quickly time is going by. I mean it's like just the other day I was thinking how I had like a month till Halloween and now it's over with and now we start the countdown till debt 2005 aka Christmas. A lot of people liked my costume between my hair coloring and my face paint. I liked the way it came out even if it wasn't 100% what I wanted it to be. I was basically an evil judge so I had used my graduation gown to wear as like the robe and then my dad actually made me a gavel which was pretty cool. I'll post some pictures later when I'm at home and have a chance to look at some of the pictures I took. Speaking of that...I need to go to the store today after work and pick up some of the pictures I took at my brother's Halloween party.

As usual the party was a good time. Most of the time everyone rotated out who was playing DDR (dance dance revolution or whatever it's called). Off of E-bay they put some of the good ones. Not just the little plastic mat. These are like metal and basically what you see in arcades just they aren't on a platform. I'll tell ya what...that is a good workout. I mean after 2 or 3 songs you'd be sweating already. Although somehow I stubbed/broke/bruised my one toe on it. I ended up hitting the one metal edge and now my toe is still hurting but oh well. It was funny cause when I pulled up to the house the fog machines were going and their house is just decked out. I mean they had like 3 pretty much life size figures for it and just all sorts of decorations outside (and inside too). Anyway I was looking at all of it as the fog is rolling around me. I was impressed and saw this clown figure and was like that's sweet. Except I was thinking hmm it's kind of bent over too much and then it slowly started moving. So I thought it was a mechnical figure like they have out. Then before I knew it the clown said something and I laughed cause I realized it was my brother! I told him that I lucked out that he didn't realize I didn't know it was him. Cause if he had known that...damn he could have gotten me good.

It was funny cause Sunday I had softball and I didn't have time to wash my hair out. So yeah I rocked out on the field with red and silver pig tails. LOL!! Even if it was a crappy day. The field was horrible. Mud clumps everywhere and some was soft mud and some was harder so it made running to 1st a bit hard. I ended up tripping/rolling an ankle on one of those and went down running to first. Twisted my ankle a bit which sucked. Then there was a bad throw to me at home and I had to run after the ball and twisted my knee up a bit. I hit like crap which sucked. Then after the game I was in my truck and bruised my finger somehow. And later on Sunday I ended up cutting my one finger so yeah it was just a bad day for me.

Ohhh I almost forgot!! Remember the drunken text messages? Yeah well they turned out to be in my favor. I don't know what exactly is going on between him but yeah I saw him over the weekend and had my fun for the weekend. I don't know. I mean it's odd because for the most part I'm content with the way it is between him. I'm content that there doesn't seem to be something more serious brewing between us. It's kind of odd. I'm really just trying to go with the flow with life and let whatever may happen...happen. So yeah later I will post the Halloween pics when I get a chance.